My initial question is...How can I help my toddlers sleep habits? Some of my sub-questions include: Should/Shouldn't he have a nightlight? Should/Shouldn't he have the TV on? Should/Shouldn't he have a sippy cup while he falls asleep? Should/Shouldn't I let him co-sleep with me when its storming or he is sick? Should/Shouldn't he has a snack before bed? Should/Shouldn't I read to him while he falls asleep? Should/Shouldn't I lay in bed with him till he falls asleep? Should/Shouldn't I shut the door all the way? Should/Shouldn't he have music playing to soothe him? Should/Shouldn't I give him medicine to help him sleep? Should/Shouldn't I let him play up until the time he falls asleep? Should/Shouldn't I put him back in bed when he wakes up in the middle of the night? Should/Shouldn't I get him juice/milk when he wakes up in the middle of the night?
This is really important to me because my son is two years old and he is going through the terrible twos and I need to figure out how to help him sleep better because it is causing me to have sleeping issues. I also think a lot of moms especially first time moms would like to have the answers to some of my sub-questions. It is also really hard living with other family members so I would like to get the answers so that I can prove to them that what is happening is not helping my son in anyway. I am clearly not doing something right because I can not fix the problem. I am a first time mom and my husband is in California in the Marine Corps, so I am living with my parents and sibling to save the money so when he gets out in a year we can buy our own home, so I think trying to figure this all out on my own isn't working out so great, but then having the input of everyone else in the family is making it even more stressful for me. So I feel like I need to research and get some insight on what to do right. I think that I am going to find my answers in some science journals and parenting websites.
Your inquiry immediately reminded me of an article I read in my alumni magazine from CU Boulder (where I got my undergrad degree). I found the article online; it's called "The Secret to a Happy Child," and describes the work of a sleep research at CU Boulder. Check it out as a potential source!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.coloradanmagazine.org/2012/03/01/the-secret-to-a-happy-child/
Thanks so much!! Ill for sure have to look at it as one of my sources.
ReplyDeleteIn addition to parenting websites, consider parenting magazines. Any parent with an opinion can post something online, but magazine articles have at least gone through some editorial review process.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Every parent will give you a different answer. My son was a challenge to get on a sleeping schedule and every time I turned around I had someone telling me what to do. I guess I do have a few suggestions.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all do not forget that this is not something you are going through alone. My husband was working and going to school so I felt completely alone. I felt like a failure as a mother. Looking back I can say I am glad it is over, but it actually helped me bond with my son. Those late nights we spent together (sometimes all night) are now the precious moments that I hold close to my heart. They were hard then, and I hated those nights. Now I am so glad we had them.
I actually found that my son just needs to be the center of attention. He has to feel loved, and that is how he did. He still hates bedtime, but he gets "special cuddle" time right before bed.
Your son is different than any child out there. He is learning what his emotions are and he may not be able to explain them. Learn with him. There are a million strategies on how to get kids to sleep. Find the one that works with both of you.
I look forward to reading your blog and remembering my journey. No matter what remember that it is hard now, but it is a time you will cherish later.
These are very interesting questions. As I'm only nineteen, I obviously have no child of my own whose experiences I can study the way you can, however I will say that as a budding psychologist I have read a lot of books on child psychology, and as an extension, parenting. I can tell you now, you are going to find a lot of advice out there from a lot of credible people, and a lot of it is going to appear contradictory. Obviously, what information you ultimately decide to use, or not, in order to help your son is going to be up to you. I look forward to seeing what you've learned, and if and how it differs from the ideas I've come across in my reading.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a mother but I have helped raise my little brothers and sisters and now my niece with my mom and I have to say most of them had sleeping problems. I have been waching my niece for about 4 months straight, her name is Cherish and she is now almost a year. She's actually the reason I had to take online classes, so I could be at home with her. But anyways, she also had a lot of trouble sleeping. My mother told me that the reason is because she has always slept next to someone and never on her on. I do know that soft music helps put them to sleep. My niece loves Mariah Carey :)
ReplyDeleteI'm really interested to see what you find!
As a mother of four, 21,18, 6, and 4, I have to say, the ultimate answer is.... whatever works so everyone gets enough rest. My rich dentist will tell you nighttime sippys cause tons of cavities. So, there, I guess it would depend on how much you want to spend on a dentist. And from experience, tv/videos at night were a bad idea. Later, I found out why. The blue light is received by your senses as daytime, and it messes with your circadian rhythm of sleep. I can't tell you how many nights I was up past midnight waiting for the older two to get to sleep, and not realizing the supposed 'security' of the familiar characters in the background was actually keeping them up! For the younger two, we stop tv at least an hour before bedtime, and I even have a program on my computer called Flux, that will dim the monitor's blue light to a rose colored hue throughout the day to keep my computer use from messing with my circadian rhythm. Co-sleeping, or family bed sleeping won't damage your kids. All of mine, (except the youngest, who's still only four) were welcome on mom and dad's bed until about five before we moved them to their own room. On the occasion they were sick, or had nightmares, they were welcome. It didn't affect their later sleeping habits and the older three adjusted to their own room just fine, after we ditched the tv. I think it may have contributed as a benefit to their confidence as they grew older, and they were able to branch out and take more risks on their own, as they always knew, starting from their youngest years, if something happened, they would find comfort from mom and dad if things fell apart.
ReplyDeleteI think at two years old, they still need their momma, and it's easier to transition them to their own room when they want to do it. It will happen. They will see the big kid beds and cool cartoon character sheets, and all of a sudden they want to be big. Growing up happens soon enough, we shouldn't need to push them into it while they're still babies.