WE DID IT!!

So I am glad to report that my son has been sleeping in his own bed for the last week. We are both very excited about it. We are still working on getting rid of the sippy cup to go to bed but it’s a work in progress. I got all of my questions answered. I am going to address my sub questions so that everyone can have a clear understanding of what I found out in my research. Yes, he should have a nightlight because children can be scared of the dark at this age. He should not have the TV on because the blue light can affect his melatonin production and make him think that it is morning instead of night. I did not read anything about negative or positive effects of him taking a sippy cup to bed with him, but as we are going to start potty training in the next month; I am going to start working on it as soon as I feel we are 100% with sleeping in his own bed all night long. When he is growing or just seems hunger it is just fine to give him a snack before bed to hold him over. I can read to him as a bedtime routine but not while he is trying to fall asleep because he will be expecting that if he wakes up in the middle of the night. That is the same case with lying with him as well; I shouldn’t do it unless I plan on staying in there all night long with him. I should not let him play until the time he goes to bed, he needs some unwind time. The research says 2-3 hours of unwind time but I am going to start with 45min-1 hour for now. I should always get up right away and put him back into his own bed if he wakes in the middle of the night. I have figured out that he can also have sleeping problems when he is growing so I need to make sure that I stick to my routine even when it gets rough. Also to help me out, if he is getting enough sleep then he is less likely to through tantrums and is less crabby throughout the day. I did not find my answer to giving him anything if he wakes in the middle of the night or if I should give him medicine to help him fall asleep; however, I don’t think I need to because all if the research I have found has helped me and him significantly. So the answer to my main question: How can I help my toddler sleep? Have many different answers.

I also have learned that co-sleeping is not so good for the parents or the child. I was always very pro co-sleeping since my husband has only been around for maybe 4 months, collectively, of the 29 months of my son’s life. I felt like it gave me a little part of my husband when he was away; it made me happy and comfortable. In my research I found that it is not good to co-sleep. In the article, “Co-Sleeping (bed sharing) Among Infants and Toddlers”, from Pediatrics, Dr. Calvin A. Colarusso, says that in the 2^nd year of life it is important for children to explore their sexual identity, their independence, as well as give the mother and father time for intimacy. As I read this, I can totally agree with what Dr. Colarusso is saying and I think that it is a good time for me to kick my son out of my bed. My husband will be getting out of the military soon and we are going to need alone time to reconnect and my son is going to have to get his sleep because he will be starting full time daycare. So this is something we all need to get used to; sleeping in our own beds by ourselves.

I have learned many new things and some of them are very interesting. I got all of my questions plus some that I wasn’t even looking for answered. My son and I are much happier that we are getting more sleep and doing things independently. I could argue whether children or parents cause the sleeping problems in the home. Also whether or not co-sleeping is positive or negative for parents and children.

We have done it! In his own bed!

Work Citied

Nancy G. Powers, et al. "Cosleeping (Bedsharing) Among Infants And Toddlers." Pediatrics 107.4 (2001): 873. Academic Search Premier. Web. 19 July 2012.

Almost There

Alright so I am glad to find out in my research that not only is it my child that has sleeping problems but 7 out of 10 children are not getting enough sleep at night. I also found out that my son not getting enough sleep even by an hour can cause him to have temper tantrums and be crabby throughout the day says Meg Lundstorm in a WebMD feature from Redbook Magazine. She also says that giving you child just one caffeinated drink a day, weather at night or during the day, can give them half an hour less of sleep at night.

 In the article "Helping Your Toddler Put Himself To Sleep", by Dr Laura Markham on AhaParenting.com, she says that some kids seem to be born naturally good sleepers and some aren't. This is totally the opposite of what Lundstorm said because she said you can change any child's sleeping habits. They both see eye to eye that children do need sleep to function mentally and emotionally throughout the day. Dr Markham says that children need a couple of hours to unwind at night because they do not just have an off switch, but who has time for a couple of hours. I am luck if I can get 30-45 of unwind time after the day is all done. All of my sources including Helping Your Toddler Put Himself To Sleep say that you should follow the exact same routine as the nights before. I am working really hard on making sure that I give him his sippy, give him a calming bath, rub with lotion, read a book, and off to bed. Some nights that gets interrupted with other things, is that bad? I also recently put up some darkening shades in his room which have seemed to help with nap time a lot. In this article it says that it is okay to give your child a little snack before bedtime to hold them through the night especially when they are growing, which for boys seems to be always!

 We are working together on this whole experience of sleeping all night in his own room. It is teaching us both that we are stronger and can do it. I thought that it would be much easier but its not. I miss him sleeping in my bed with me and I know he misses it too. I just have to stick to my guns and use all of the advice and knowledge I am learning about.

I Am Getting There

So some of my questions have been answered. Do kids need a certain amount of sleep at this age? According to the sleep chart, I found on Parents.com,  most toddlers need 12-14 hours of sleep. Do I need to have a routine and stick to it? This same article says that kids do need a sleep routine.

Should he have a night light? Should he have a sippy when he goes to bed? Should I lay in bed with him till he falls asleep? Should I read to him while he falls asleep? Should I put him back in his own bed if he wakes up?  In the article "Dealing With Late Night Visits from Your Child" from the website babycenter.com, the author Dawn Margolis, gives me the answers to all of these questions. She says that it is okay to let your child have a night light because most toddlers have a fear of the dark. She also says that what he goes to bed with is what he is going to expect when he wakes up in the middle of the night. So if I'm in his bed, reading to him, and he has a sippy cup then that's what he will expect when he wakes up. So I need to start gradually getting rid of all of those bad habits. She also says that I need to be consistent. So if he wakes up in the middle of the night then I need to get my butt out of bed and put him back. She also says that none of this will happen overnight :(, I wish it did, but I should keep working at it and trying.

 Some other questions that have come up in my mind while I have been researching this topic is: Do grow spurts effect a child's sleep habits? Does too much sleep effect their behavior?

Reward Chart

This is a mid week post but I thought I should put it up anyway. I talked to one of my military mommies. She said that one of the best methods that has worked for her and her son was a reward chart. So I thought well it cant hurt to try it. So we tried it last night. I told him before he went to bed that if he slept in his room all night then he could put a star on his chart. He slept in his own room all night long and mommy got to sleep in her room all night long!! I really hope this keeps working since it has only been one night.

So looking more into this. Dawn Margolis in the article "Dealing with Late-Night Visits from your Child", on a website called babycenter.com says that it is okay to have a reward system. It does work for some kids and doesn't work for others. She says that "its hard work to stay in your bed"; which I totally agree with because I let my son get to comfortable with coming into my bed. Also a mothers point of view is to let the rewards get bigger. So I might try this as well. If he sleeps in his room for a week give him something bigger than a sticker. Fingers crossed!!

Im still working on it

So I have been looking at a lot of different post from newspaper articles that I have found on EBSCOhost. In my first post, "A Great Nights Sleep" in the Townsville Bulletin by Nicole Pierotti, answers a question from a parent. The parent wants to know how to get their son back into his own bed after letting him sleep with them. The author answers with a couple different options. The first is to sit down you child and explain to them that they cant sleep in your bed anymore and they will sleep in their own bed. Obviously this is not going to work for me because my son is only 2 and I don't think he would even start to understand what I am saying to him. The second is to wake as soon as your child crawls into your bed and put them back in their own bed without much contact. This isn't going to work for me either because I have tried and it is so much easier just to let him stay in my bed because I don't have to wake up. The third option is to make sure your bedroom door is secure and closed. I can not do this either because there is no way that I could sleep knowing that my door is all the way closed. The fourth option is to secure your toddlers bedroom door or put a baby gate in front of it. This doesn't seem like a very smart idea to me because what if there is a fire or they get sick and cant get out. I just don't agree with any of these methods to keeping my child in his bed for the night. They don't seem very safe to me at all. Also I have tried to putting him back in his room but then I am cranky during the day because I had to keep getting up and putting him back in his room.

In the second newspaper article, "Stop Your Bed Being Hijacked" from the Irish Times, by David Coleman, he says that its good we let our children sleep with us when they are sick or have nightmares. I have done this so many times when my son is sick or has had a long day and just needs his mommy. He also points out that what you fall asleep with or to is what you expect when you wake up. So if my son falls asleep with me laying next to him and the lights on then when he wakes up he expects to see me with the lights on. I have started to let him watch some of a movie, drink his sippy, and lay with him for about 15 minutes. After that I take the sippy, turn the movie off, and leave the room. The first couple of nights he cried for some time before falling asleep but then he would just fall asleep. I totally ruined doing this when I let him sleep with me last night because he woke up with a soaking wet diaper.

I really love to cuddle with him!!! :)

I like this method much more than the answers from the first article that I read. But at the same time I don't know if I can stick to it because its so easy to fall back into bad habits and I am trying to hard to break me AND him of them.








Work Cited

Nicole Pierotti. "Baby Thoughts A Great Night's Sleep." Townsville Bulletin (2011): 17. Newspaper Source. Web. 13 July 2012.

"Stop your bed being hijacked." Irish Times 28 Apr. 2009: Newspaper Source. Web. 13 July 2012.

He can sleep in the car.....Even if it isn't moving!!

Help Him Sleep

My initial question is...How can I help my toddlers sleep habits? Some of my sub-questions include: Should/Shouldn't he have a nightlight? Should/Shouldn't he have the TV on? Should/Shouldn't he have a sippy cup while he falls asleep? Should/Shouldn't I let him co-sleep with me when its storming or he is sick? Should/Shouldn't he has a snack before bed? Should/Shouldn't I read to him while he falls asleep? Should/Shouldn't I lay in bed with him till he falls asleep? Should/Shouldn't I shut the door all the way? Should/Shouldn't he have music playing to soothe him? Should/Shouldn't I give him medicine to help him sleep? Should/Shouldn't I let him play up until the time he falls asleep? Should/Shouldn't I put him back in bed when he wakes up in the middle of the night? Should/Shouldn't I get him juice/milk when he wakes up in the middle of the night?

This is really important to me because my son is two years old and he is going through the terrible twos and I need to figure out how to help him sleep better because it is causing me to have sleeping issues. I also think a lot of moms especially first time moms would like to have the answers to some of my sub-questions. It is also really hard living with other family members so I would like to get the answers so that I can prove to them that what is happening is not helping my son in anyway.  I am clearly not doing something right because I can not fix the problem. I am a first time mom and my husband is in California in the Marine Corps, so I am living with my parents and sibling to save the money so when he gets out in a year we can buy our own home, so I think trying to figure this all out on my own isn't working out so great, but then having the input of everyone else in the family is making it even more stressful for me. So I feel like I need to research and get some insight on what to do right. I think that I am going to find my answers in some science journals and parenting websites.